hell yes lets make some ravioli
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
