Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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