If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
