Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
