I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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