You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
