i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
