'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she woke up with a sticky ear
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
