if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
