i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
