I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My bed smells like the plague
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