Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
