i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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