I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
