Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
