it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
