my vag is so smooth its legendary
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
