Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
