You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
