do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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