and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
