You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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