Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
