I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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