i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
