? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼‍♀️
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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