u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
