You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Houston, we have a squirter
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
