can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
