it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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