at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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