he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
