I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Never underestimate the power of titties
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
