Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
