"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
