All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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