At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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