That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
