first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
