If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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