having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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