well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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