So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
