in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
