3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
