She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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