I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
