i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my sisters under your porch take her home
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
