More tranny stories later!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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