I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
